Everyone deserves to and can find love, says Maureen Tara Nelson, owner of MTN Matchmaking, a 20-year-old Melville-based matchmaking business.
A lifelong people helper, Nelson learned about all the personality types in her former career as a pharmaceutical sales rep.
“When this industry popped up 25 years ago on Long Island, I knew it was my calling,” says Nelson.
Everything she does in her private three-part compatibility assessment and tests that she does on her new clients, is from what she learned as a pharmaceutical rep.
An executive-level certified matchmaker, Nelson operates her service very differently than her counterparts, the closest certified members being and specializing in Manhattan.
What are some of the differences between other high-end Matchmaking services? She first specifies that she works directly with many of the other certified matchmaking services in the tri-state area, and they are not competition to her, they are her colleagues.
“There are many differences,” Nelson says. “Some examples include I have both parties pay, and I do not take on free database clients. I show photos of my clients along with their bios and have them decide to say yes to each other before they meet.”
Instead of arranging blind dates for clients, which she is strongly against, MTN Matchmaking gives the male clients the lady’s phone numbers and has them call the lady to make a date for drinks, lunch, or brunch. This makes it feel more like a real, authentic date than an artificial one.
Do you leave dating mostly to the client’s ideas, or do you find that controlling the dating process helps make the dates more successful?
Nelson admits to controlling the dating process here and states, “Most of our clients love that we give them the guidance and tell them what to do, which makes it much less stressful for them.” She advises that they try to say yes 90% of the time and go out on three dates before moving on to the next date.
“One of the hardest parts of the dating coaching that we provide is to have a client agree to take all our advice. First, we cannot make clients go out with someone if they do not find the photo appealing. Then only about 50% of our clients will take our advice and follow through with the recommendation of going out three times,” Nelson states. “The ones that do usually always tell us that the second date was better, and they were less nervous, the conversation flowed smoother, and on the third date, it was like a lightbulb went off, and they suddenly felt an attraction towards one another. What a great feeling that is.”
What are some more differences?
“Most Matchmakers are different when taking on every client if they wish to join their program and pay their fees,” Nelson states. However, Nelson won’t take on every client. For example, she stays clear of narcissistic and controlling personality types and the common term used nowadays of being a “Karen.” All of these would be impossible for her to make successful, and she wants her clients to know that their safety is very important to her. She is proud to say, “I have a very thorough screening process, do a felony background check, and I disqualify on average around 10 narcissistic singles and five ‘Karens’ every single week.”
That sounds like a lot of money to give up every single week. She states that “one week I counted the amount of money I lost out on that week, with interviewing on average three singles each day and working seven days a week, and having the usual number of narcissists and Karens, the total amount of clients that I disqualified was approximately $65,000 that week alone. From that day on, I stopped counting this number. I never want to be tempted into doing something that would eventually hurt my business. I wouldn’t be in business for 20 years if I ever deviated from my rule of not taking everyone on. So now I only concentrate on the positives, and occasionally, I need to remind my clients that sometimes the singles I disqualify are more important than the number of clients we have. Once a client realizes this, it makes them positive again.”
Are your fees the usual amounts that many matchmakers in the city give on their website?
“My fees are lower than my colleagues, but I’m in this business for a different reason,” she says. “My whole mission is that no one lives the life I lived when I was a young girl married with two young kids and having to get divorced. I am much less concerned about making money than most people would believe. I care about making my clients successful so they can find love with us, which is much easier than ever trying to do on your own.”
Nelson developed her unique method of ensuring her clients will be compatible before she sends them out on dates.
“I know compatibility and chemistry are equally important with all of the marriages I’ve set up,” she says. “I’m doing the hard part by making sure when I make the match that they’ll be compatible in three ways with each other’s five must-haves.”
Three Ways of Compatibility Analysis
Before she meets with her clients personally, Nelson has them do a little homework. First, the client tells her their five best personality qualities. She then assesses that person and sees whether it matches the qualities they say.
“Because in my program, they need to match. If they don’t match, that’s a red flag,” says Nelson, who won’t take them on at that point because that often is a red flag that the person is narcissistic or controlling. At that point, she knows the questions she needs to ask, and she states that she can get the crazy out of anyone.
If she takes them on as a client, she does a personality test on them for the third part of the analysis without their participation. This personality test, she believes, is much more accurate than what they tell her about themselves.
“Not everyone has realistic versions of themselves,” Nelson says. “I call that the magic mirror. If someone is single and still using the magic mirror at home where they’re looking in and seeing themselves the same way they did 20 years ago when they first were single, it’s not going to work. They must be realistic in their appearance, both inside and out.”
Coaching clients lovingly about being more realistic with their goals in finding a companion is integral to her matchmaking work.
5 Must-Haves
Next, the client tells Nelson what their five “must-haves” are in a match.
“If it’s something I cannot do, I will tell them that,” says Nelson, adding that if she thinks one of her colleagues in the city is better equipped to handle the client, she’ll make the referral. That matchmaker is happy to get the referral from Nelson, and she is happy that someone can help them. She enjoys receiving the referral rate we all give each other.
Typically, both men and women nowadays are very concerned with appearance. During the pandemic, personality had become a higher priority.
“Now, it’s returning to how it used to be,” Nelson says. “People say, ‘I’m joining a private, upscale matchmaking service: I want the best of the best.’”
Age is another must-have factor, but Nelson often tries to dissuade people from focusing on someone younger than they can easily get. She states, “It’s always easier to go older. I have a rule of thumb that the top men in my program can usually easily get a perfect match up to 10 years older. Do ladies like to hear that? No. But the reality is it is even worse than trying to find someone on your own, especially when age is important to both singles. If they’re going to be more compatible with someone their age and that person is just as active as they are, that shouldn’t be a problem.”
Other must-haves are being active, such as being an avid walker or into golf or pickleball.
“Walking together is a great thing for beginning daters to do together,” Nelson says.
Are there “must nots,” like politics, for example?
“Yes, my advice has worked for years regarding politics and I highly recommend it,” she says. “Trust me when I say if you are compatible and have chemistry, keep politics out of the conversation on the first three dates. If you can’t, you are making it harder on yourself, and you will most likely reduce your chances of finding love by about 50%. After three dates, if you think you might have a chance with that person, having a healthy mindset of agreeing to disagree if you have different beliefs will give you much greater results. And don’t make finding love harder than it already is.”
On a personal level, what is something that no other interviewer has ever asked you and what most people don’t know about you?
“Many people have told me for years that I am a very strong, confident person who can handle things myself, and any man will be intimidated because of that and think I don’t need a man,” she says. “The truth is I really am shy, am mostly too exhausted to talk on the phone due to interviewing three people every day, am very soft and emotional inside, and want very much now (that I’ve raised my kids to be fine young adults,) to find a man who can take over the strong side of me and let me sit back and have him take the lead. I am ready to give all the love I have saved up inside me since my divorce and raising my kids while building my business to what it is today to the right man who wants to be showered with love,” she states for the first time with us.
Nelson shares her programs only with us! However, these prices can vary, are not a legal invitation to join, the client must pass the screening process, cannot have a felony record, be emotionally stable, financially or very financially stable, and are looking for marriage or a committed relationship! And must pass the private and personal screening process for Maureen Tara Nelson. All programs come with complimentary photos in our Melville office!
Clients only if approved, can choose from six different programs:
Trial (a three-month program for people in their 20s) without dating coaching for about $1,000.
Deluxe (includes receiving potential matches and coaching via email for four months) for $3,000.
VIP (our most popular program for financially stable singles, receiving unlimited matches for six months and dating coaching), for $5,000.
Elite (for singles who are very financially stable and who want to find someone who is at their financial level, for one year of unlimited matches, dating coaching by all the coaches and Maureen Tara Nelson personally in written form,) This elite program comes with five times the number of services as the VIP for $8,000.
Celebrity and our High-End Private Program (for singles who are very well known, and they see and approve all potential matches first, plus many other advantages.) for $10,000
New: Our national program where we work with all the other certified level matchmakers to together find your perfect match. Please feel free to call for more information. The price varies.
How would a client know they would be a good fit for your service?
Nelson says, “If you are single, too good for internet dating sites, get asked out all the time, but with singles, you would not like to go out with, are positive, patient and open-minded, and can give the control of finding your perfect match to us, then call us! All of our thousands of success stories have all done the above.”
What do you want all the Long Island singles to know about you?
“If I take you on, and you take all of our advice, I will do everything possible to make you successful,” Nelson says. “If I take you on and you run out of time but are always a client in good standing with us, we will offer you a very affordable renewal price if you wish to continue. If I do not take you on for whatever reason, you will feel great about yourself and get dating coaching advice.”
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